My Best Kept Secret

 May 12, 2015
Posted by qc

I get asked these two questions a lot, “How do you balance work and family?” and “How can you be so super organised with running your own business and raising twins?” I don’t mind being asked them because being a business owner and parent is hard and if me telling my story helps and inspires others to be their best I’ll keep telling it.

In answering the above questions, I’m simply, “not!”  I’m not super organised and I don’t balance work and family. The reality is my husband and I do!  We job share. My husband is an extraordinary man that outwardly admitted he could live life without having children but has become the most amazing father and husband in the process.  A wise 90-year old family friend said to me recently “your husband is one is a million”.  I replied, “yes he is”.  He is a dab hand at making dinner, lunches, getting the twins dressed, doing bath/shower duty and taking them out on weekends. I had a phone call from a client the other night and he said “so are the children in bed?”  I replied saying “no my husband has that in hand” and he said “oh, you’ve got one of those modern ones!”  I suppose he is and that works for us.  I’ve always said, “I don’t know the secret to all marriages, just mine!”Before the twins were born I always knew I’d want to keep my toes in the working world but still have the flexibility to spend time with my family but that meant full support from my husband and that I got.  He is very lucky to have very supportive employers so if we have to juggle child care occasionally he steps in if I can’t, and that’s the only way we can make our lives work, having less overwhelm and chaos and more love and support.

In recent months we’ve seen campaigns such as, NZ Pork ‘Mum’s Night Off’ Campaign encouraging women to get out of the kitchen and let men cook.  The initiative was based on an online survey showing nine out of 10 Kiwi women do most of the cooking which received backlash calling the campaign, sexist and demeaning to women. My husband was appalled by the campaign saying it portrayed most men as never setting foot in the kitchen. I could see his point, however this is only an issue because we tend to focus on the negative and never celebrate those co-parenting superstars that strive to be the best they possibly can.

If you have a superstar in your household, celebrate them and appreciate them for all their efforts.  If you are a superstar keep doing what you’re doing as you are not only supporting your partner, you’re also a very important role model for your children.

These are my top tips on how to best manage your life as busy parents:

  • Put yourselves first:  Find time to exercise at least three time a week. Get up earlier in the morning or go after work whilst one parent looks after the children and gets the dinner ready.  Take turns in doing this as it is a proven fact that exercise makes you happier and more positive.
  • Tag team with your partner: If you want more support ask for it.  It’s all about balance.  If you feel overwhelmed by life ask for help.
  • Be organised:  Create your own strategies to keep everything organised. Keep a diary and to-do list. I’ve just created a chalkboard organiser on my kitchen wall.  This is great for the kids to doodle on too!

Do you know someone that needs a special shout out for being a superstar?  Let us know!


Brought to you by Letitia Buckle x


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